Wednesday, July 10, 2013

WWZ Addendum

In my prior post, I completely forgot to mention the one character who is worse at his job than Brad Pitt is at keeping clumsy Harvard boys alive: Nameless WHO Doctor #1. NWD1's job is to analyze a sample of zombie blood. If you've even heard of The Hot Zone, you probably recognize that this as a Level 4 job. Apparently NWD1 was sick that day during med school, because instead of donning an impenetrable space suit and entering a secure, air-tight facility, he just dumps this ultra-virulent substance into a run-of-the-mill Petri dish in an open lab with other nameless doctors milling about.

He does follow protocol, though, by donning super-secure blue latex gloves. Good work, Doc! Oh, but then, for no reason at all, he decides to smash the dish with his hand, cutting and infecting himself in the process. Apparently NWD1's coworker, NWD2, had no idea about the zombie apocalypse happening just outside, because instead of fleeing in terror, he waltz's over to give NWD1 (now NZN1billion) a comforting pat on the back. Next thing we know, they've lost the entire useful wing of the facility, all because the WHO didn't take the whole zombie thing a little more seriously.

And we *still* can't find Pepe!

Grrr, Argh!

S. Misanthrope

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