Monday, June 3, 2013

Game of Tweets

I've changed my mind: I'm no longer going to advocate raising kids on Game of Thrones. I'm going to advocate raising kids on what people Tweet about Game of Thrones. For example:

These are real things that real people think and say. People who are watching a show that very closely follows a book that has been out for well over ten years. A book that is famously violent, crass, and just amazingly pulpy (although it for some reason has a reputation for being Tolkein-esque literature).

Here is what your kids will learn from following this thread:
-People can't spell.
-People can't write.
-George R. R. Martin can't write.
-People don't read books anymore.
-In fact, books are so far out of the average person's mind that they blame the television show's producer for the plot rather than the original author. That's like blaming Mel Gibson for the death of Christ.
-A fair number of people are only upset when dogs are pretend-killed on television. Pretend people-murder is tolerable.
-A fair number of people are only upset when a pregnant woman is pretend-murdered on television. Pretend-murder of people who aren't currently incubating a fetus is tolerable.
-A lot of people misuse the word "literally." Literally.
-Fans of Game of Thrones like to write about vomiting almost as much as Mr. Martin likes to write about urinating.

Twitter mayhap could be used even more broadly in education. For instance, you could set your child to correct the grammar of every tweet tweeted by some twit, which would be the modern equivalent of Cinderella picking out lentils. Or it could fit nicely with a Montessori-style educational environment, like one giant "what's wrong with this picture?" of human cognition and communication. Beautiful.

Or we could just all agree to stop reproducing, because who wants to live in a world where people don't want to live in a world without Catelyn "Even as a Zombie I'm Boring" Stark.

Oops, spoilers!

S. Misanthrope

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