Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stupid of the Week #8: My Office Bake Sale

After reorganizing this site's sidebar, I noted that the "Stupid of the Week" segment is looking more like a "Stupid of the Month" segment. Of course, like all things on this site, they are really "Whenever I Damn Well Please" segments, but I will nonetheless make an effort to discourse on stupid things with greater frequency.

Lucky for me, an easy opportunity fell into my lap this week. Some folks in my office are having a bake sale. That in and of itself is not stupid at all. I completely love bake sales since they are the only known source of lemon bars, the all-time greatest dessert. I am 100% in favor of bake sales and lemonade stands and all similar juvenile attempts at entrepreneurship. This bake sale, however, is for a cause, and the cause is: diabetes.

Pause for effect.

Yes, that's right: all proceeds from the sale of sugary baked goods will go to the American Diabetes Association, an organization (supposedly) dedicated to curing diabetes. Yeah, ok, see, the thing is: we've already cured diabetes. We've cured it by *not eating sugary baked goods anymore.* Having a bake sale for diabetes is like selling crack for Narcotics Anonymous. It's like soliciting unprotected sex to fund HIV research. It's like literally having a bake sale *for* diabetes. Like, here, diabetes: have some more people to destroy.

Is this a vast conspiracy by the ADA to create greater demand for their services? Are they trying to give us diabetes so that we will give them more money to cure it? Or is the individual who decided to organize this bake sale just not very good at thinking things through to their logical conclusion? One thing is clear: someone in this joint requires a visit from the Logic Fairy.

In case you were wondering, that's this guy.


Sugar and spice and everything nice,

S. Misanthrope

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