Monday, January 17, 2011

One King to Rule Them All

Some number of years ago today, Martin Luther King, Jr. was born, or maybe he died, or maybe neither since Martin Luther King Day is one of those lame floating holidays that always magically attach to a weekend because who wants a winter holiday that can't be turned into a ski trip, am I right?

Martin Luther King was a man so awesome, he remains to this day the one known exception to the "shit doesn't happen just because you talk about it a lot" rule. He accomplished more in death than almost anyone else would accomplish from cradle to grave if they lived forever. He is the only known human being who holds the title of "bad-ass pacifist mother fucker" without contradiction (1).

So what better way to honor the man who died a violent, public death for the dream of a day when black children could attend the same schools as white children, than by throwing children of all races out on the street to fend for themselves for a day?

Seriously, you guys: this man died for your education. He gave his life so that you could have an equal chance at getting a job. If anything, this should be a day when all the black people go to work and all the white people are forced to take unpaid vacation (2), not a day when we all fuck around and do nothing.

And by the way, if I hear one person comparing the assassination of MLK to the attempted assassination of Congressman Giffords today, I swear to God I will punch you in the fucking face. Except not really because I am at work today, exercising my goddamn civil rights. Thanks, MLK!

XOXO,

S. Misanthrope

Endnotes:
(1) Don't anyone mention Ghandi now because that jerk had less awesomeness in his entire body and diaper than MLK had in one hair follicle.
(2) "Reverse racism" is still racism, assholes.

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