Believe it or not, politics is a deliberate non-entity on this blog. While I am a board-certified masochist, even I can only take so much. Although I don't have the strength to wallow in the muck of political particulars, I do wish to satisfy my dear readers. In that spirit, then, please accept this meta-analysis as a substitute. Just fill in whatever issue of the day you wish I would cover and choose responses according to your desired ideological leaning, and voila! Instant political commentary.
Title: [Person/Place/Thing] Does Something [Stupid/Smart/Cool]
[Person/Place/Thing] has struck again! According to [trusted mainstream news source link/link to completely unsubstantiated claim on some random website], [person/place/thing] has issued a statement that [he/she/it] will be [further violating our rights/saving babies]. This comes on the tail of [other person/place/thing's] declaration that they will be [screwing us way harder/saving far more babies] than [person/place/thing1].
Here's why this is [stupid/smart/cool]:
This move is clearly going to have far-reaching consequences. It will affect the economy, which is in the crapper right now because of [Obama/Bush/Reagan/George Washington]. It's going to make things so much [worse/better], which should be obvious to anyone who has studied [Mises/Friedman/Keynes].
Aside from the practical economic effects, this is a moral [tragedy/triumph] of enormous proportions. This decision will [destroy freedom/restore democracy and social justice], as anyone familiar with the works of [Ayn Rand/Hayek/some obscure postmodern feminist scholar] can tell you.
Of course it's safe to assume that [conservatives/liberals/both] are wrong about this issue and are saying lots of stupid things about it like [link] and [link]. But that's what you've got to expect when you're corrupted by [mysticism/altruism/both/neither]. Until everyone understands that we [are/are not our brother's keeper], everything will continue to suck and there will be no rainbows for anyone. NO RAINBOWS.
Of course all of this ties back to my pet issue of [immigration/gay marriage/ending circumcision/sending trees to college] in a way that I will merely assert rather than explain while linking to a prior post I wrote on the topic. Then I will bombard you with links that no one will ever read. They will make it look as though I am supporting my position, but most of them just link to other opinion pieces. One or two are actually gay porn. Good luck figuring out which is which.
Here's to making the world a better place, one pointless rant that no one reads at a time.
P.S. For more information on how YOU can help send a tree to college today, visit http://mjkelleyblog.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-psa-for-educate-our-forests.html.