Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm posting this because it's short

It might be impossible to market skin care products to me. I’m not particularly inspired by cute teens splashing water on their faces. I don’t care about vitamins or minerals or exfoliating micro-beads. I definitely don’t care about looking younger as I am still carded when I try to use the AMX I’ve had for 5 years to buy a pack of gum. The Oil of Olay logo looks like a terrified woman trapped in an egg to me.

But one advertising strategy in particular will never, ever persuade me to purchase skin care, primarily because it doesn’t even make me think of skin care. These are the ads involving reptiles. Lubriderm (can I just say "ew" to that name, please?) has their “later, gator” commercial and tag line. Some fancier company has posters with iguanas and lizards next to some nondescript pink and white boxes and bottles. Reptilia seems to be the universal skin care symbol.

The point of these ads, I suppose, is to let you know that, if you are a reptile, your skin texture is undesirable and you should go kill yourself so we humans can get back to stroking our smooth legs and arms. Or perhaps it is aimed toward people with fauxhawks, which tend to attract reptiles due their similarity to the nuchal crest. “Tired of reptiles following you everywhere, dropping out of trees and landing on your fauxhawk? Buy Reptile-Away hand lotion and send those pesky buggers on their way!”

Anyway, these ads won’t work on me because my reaction to a photo of a lizard is more like: “Oh, cool, a reptile! I wonder if this ad is for a reptile exhibit at the zoo. No, not the zoo. Maybe it’s for a pet store. No…a movie perhaps? Hm, why are all these bottles next to the lizard? Oh well, I guess I should go buy car insurance now.”

You see, I think reptiles are awesome. My very first can’t-be-without-it-for-30-seconds stuffed animal was a dinosaur. My second was an alligator. My sister’s first was a sea turtle and her second was a velociraptor. So I know I’m not the only person who sees an iguana on a billboard and thinks it’s cute and cuddly and who doesn’t think of skin care at all.

You know what does make me think of skin care? Nuclear reactors. Why? I don't know. The radiation, I guess. Maybe St. Ives should consider putting some of those in their ads.

Hugs and Scaley Kisses,

S. Misanthrope

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