You stupid fuck. You know, I was planning to write a post mocking environmentalism and demonstrating how the environmentalist's ultimate goal is death, but you have rendered it completely unnecessary. Were I to write the most absurd parody I could manage of environmentalist principles and their wicked death premise, I could not have come up with anything nearly as ridiculous as your list of demands.
In a way, I owe the splattered remains of your corpse a debt of gratitude. So thank you, Lee. I hope many, many of your eco-terrorist buddies decide to take your advice and relieve the planet and humanity of the burden of their existence.